Folks, after three long years of tracking this man down …I finally find the man who molested my sister and I and the meeting was by coincidence.

I’ll have much more later and I will be compiling all video that brought me up to this point.

This video is dedicated to the survivors of sexual abuse.

My goal has been accomplished and Butch has been found, so I think now I should concentrate on the positive in my life. Butch knows what he did was absolutely wrong and I think his punishment is the guilt he must feel everyday.

My advice to many, let go of the Butch who is controlling you too and you’ll feel so much better. Seriously, don’t allow the monster to control you any more. Tell him you are done and the pain is no longer there. You want freedom from the thoughts and you want your life back!

Go outside, take a deep breath and enjoy nature. Move on and you’ll feel so much better.

I have been there (Colden, NY) at least 3 times and now I go back to commence my 2009 journey into locating Butch …the man who molested my sister and I. Going back hypes me and truly is my therapy.

I get an early phone call from my good friend Joe who is helping me locate Butch. Joe has friends in the police department and one is helping us locate Butch. Listen in on the phone conversation. No script and no time to comb my hair. LOL.

When she tells me she has been abused sexually, I just feel my story now has become secondary and non-important. My ears are focused and my mind is set as if I’m studying for the most important chemistry exam. MY heart sinks and I want to reach out my arms to hold this person very tightly. Maybe to cry …maybe to tell my story too.

I say to  you, I can’t take your pain away; however, you have found a new friend and you can confide in me. Damn, here I go again, writing in third person like I’m writing a diary. I guess this is a diary and I should be addressing this as such.

Sometimes I feel others who have not been victimized don’t understand and I am ready to explode in tears. Damn, I just need to tell my story and I need to seek some therapy. My therapy is telling someone who has experienced the same and to hug this person so I can just feel comfort …so I can feel human again. Se we can feel human.

One of my “Finding Butch” videos where I take you to the place where he molested my sister and I! It’s uncut and very real! I’ll find him this year – for I need to pay him a visit.

My parents soon split after the we moved into the old house on Omphalius Rd, located in Colden, NY. My dad was hardly there and I soon became the man of the house at the age of seven (7). How can a child (at the age of seven) protect his family from Butch? I can’t protect myself from Butch and how was I expected to protect my sisters. He was 16 and I was only 7.

I really missed not having my dad there to protect me. After all, he was a man who I looked up to and he let me down. He was not there to protect me from Butch’s cold hands and resent him for leaving us in this time of need. Why and how could you just leave knowing Butch would be knocking at the door looking to molest again. Damn, I resent you for this and now I must be at Butch’s beck and call.

You left us in time of need and forgiving you is hard. On many occasions I have wiped the tears from eyes begging you to come back to protect us from this monster and you turned your back on your family. The only time you would visit when it was convenient for you! I When you didn’t visit, Butch would and he was there. I resent you for giving us up to this monster.

Damn, just once, why don’t you listen and just come back to protect us from Butch! You were never there for the nightmares and I resent you for leaving. Dad, you’re a coward and I’m having a difficult time forgiving you!

I will never forgive Butch for he deserves no forgiveness.

Dear Ron,

My name is Chassidy.  Just like so many others I was sexually abused as a child.  I have tried for years to remember how and where it started but I can’t remember.  My story is a bit different.  I am now 34 married and a mother to 2 boys.  I wanted to be a better person, a better wife, and a better mother so I decided to start a blog.  I had just watched Oprah’s show about being a spiritual person and I felt that they were talking to me.  So I started a blog on Oprah’s website.  Hoping that my story could give someone else who is having a hard time dealing with  and give them some comfort.  Because my story is a little different I decided to post a little bit at a time.  It would take me all day and all night if I did it in one big post.  I didn’t want to leave anything out and I wanted to be as honest as I can.  I just started posting son there are only 2 post.  I have pledged myself to post everyday.  I wish you luck in your search.  I am not sure I would have the courage to do what you are doing.  I am not sure if it would make me feel any different.  In my mind people as sick as our abusers will not even hear what you will say.  Nothing that could happen to them in this life will give you back what was taken.  Some people, I believe are put to go through these horrific events to teach the world.  Clearly you have started your lecturing by having this website.  Not everyone can go through what you and I have and make it.

My name is Roseallie. I am 18 years old. Just recently I have been telling my story to people around me as a way to vent. 

My grandparents lived with my family when I was younger. They were from the Philippines, helping my mom out with my new baby sister. It was a morning before school one day, I was in the 3rd grade. My grandfather had asked me to come into the basement where they lived. My grandmother was upstairs. I walked down the steps, and he lifted me up and sat me on his bed. He didn’t say anything to me as he just started kissing me. It felt so wrong to me, but he convinced me it was just a game. He continued touching me and violating me for a few days after as well. Until, he finally stopped. I guess he finally realized that he was betraying his own blood.

I didn’t tell anyone until 8 years later. After my grandparents had moved back to the Philippines. I told my mom, who didn’t want to believe me, so we have not spoken of the subject since. That was 3 years ago. 

Most of the time, I can block the whole incident from my mind. But when I see fatherly affection of any kind, I remember, and it is brought back to me. I’ve told a few people since I have been in college, not expecting them to understand or tell me what to do, but to just listen. 

I do not know if I need therapy, I do not want therapy. I just want to come to some kind of peace with myself and my grandfather. I do not know if he is alive or well, and I do not want to face him. 

I have become a stronger person because of this, but I am still hurt. I just need guidance on what to do next.